Nicole Kidman is relatively private about her personal life, but she hasn’t been afraid to share what she’s learned in her love life over the years, with new comments seeming to reference her marriage to Tom Cruise.

Kidman Says Her Divorce Impacts Her Current Marriage

Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar, the actress admitted her past marriage caused her to be cautious in new relationships, including her present union with country singer Keith Urban.

“I was young. I think I offered it up? Maybe I’ve gotten a bit more trepidatious, but I’m always trying to be as open as possible. I just prefer to live in the world that way,” Kidman told the publication.

Of the impact her past has had on her current relationship, Nicole continued, “I’m wary at times, and I’ve been hurt, but at the same time I much prefer a warm approach rather than a prickly shutdown approach. My husband, Keith, says that when he met me, he said, ‘How’s your heart?’ And I apparently responded, ‘Open.’”

Kidman Has Talked About Her Divorce Before

In January, Kidman appeared to reference the breakdown of her marriage to Cruise when discussing how she should’ve been her happiest during her 2003 Oscar win, which came a few years after their divorce.

Speaking to author Dave Karger for his book 50 Oscar Nights, which was released in January, Kidman says it felt odd not to be happy about her Oscar win. But she wasn’t happy in her personal life – the actress has said the two kids she shares with Cruise chose to live with him after their split.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well. That’s what happens, right?” she said, acknowledging how ironic the situation was.

Though she ended up attending an Oscars afterparty, Nicole said she almost went directly home after the ceremony because she was in such a poor mood.

“I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award,’” Kidman went on. “I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They’re like, ‘That’s what you do.’”

She added, “So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it. I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”

Regrettably, the evening took a downturn upon her return to the hotel room. Nicole recounts that dining alone with take-out after the Oscars prompted her realization of a desire to seek love anew.

Subsequently, Nicole went on to tie the knot with country singer Keith Urban in 2006, with whom she shares two teenage daughters. They remain married to this day. Nicole and Tom were married from 1990 to 2001.