DRAKE Bell has opened up about the aftermath of revealing his child sexual abuse in the Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV docuseries.
On Monday, the Nickelodeon alum sat down with Kate Snow on Today to discuss why he refrained from telling his story until now.
One person who influenced his decision was his 3-year-old son, whom he shares with his ex-wife Janet Von Schmeling.
“I could’ve either allowed this to destroy me, or make me stronger for him,” Drake, 37, explained.
“What’s the story that he’s going to get? Is somebody else going to tell him my story, or am I going to be around to tell him and share my story?”
The actor also admitted he was afraid of how the public would receive the news once he came clean.
“I went home thinking, ‘What have I done?'” Drake confessed.
“‘Now the world’s going to know this. How are they going to receive it?'”
The Drake & Josh star continued, “When you’re holding it inside, it’s a constant battle with your mind of, ‘Is this my fault? Why did this happen to me? What was taken away from me? Am I going to be desired? … Has that part of me been broken? Has that part of me been taken away from me?'”
In the five-part docuseries – which premiered March 17 on HBO Max – Drake shared he experienced sexual abuse from acting coach Brian Peck as a teen.
Other former Nickelodeon stars appeared on the docuseries to reveal more about the alleged abusive environment on set, also from ex-production assistant Jason Michael Handy and All That and The
Amanda Show creator Dan Schneider.
Earlier this month, Dan sued Quiet on Set producers for defamation, claiming that the series falsely portrayed him as a child abuser.
‘This poor man!’ Quiet On Set viewers cry over Drake Bell’s dad Joe’s heart-wrenching reaction to son’s sexual abuse
The lawsuit accuses Warner Bros. Discovery, Maxine Productions, Sony Pictures Television, and others for implying he sexually abused the child actors who worked on his shows, TMZ reported.
Dan also produced Drake & Josh, in which Drake starred opposite Josh Peck, 37, iCarly, and Zoey 101.
The TV producer claimed that the docuseries painted him in a negative light and grouped him with Jason and Brian, who were convicted of their crimes.
“Schneider had no knowledge of their abuse, was not complicit in the abuse, condemned the abuse once it was discovered and, critically, was not a child sexual abuser himself,” the lawsuit claims.
Despite this, Dan did take accountability for some of his behavior on set but insisted he was not connected to any child sex abuse.
Dan had already defended himself when the docuseries came out after it created quite a buzz in the media.
“Everything that happened on the shows Dan ran was carefully scrutinized by dozens of involved adults, and approved by the network,” a spokesperson for the Sam & Cat producer told The Hollywood Reporter.
“Had there been any scenes or outfits that were inappropriate in any way, they would have been flagged and blocked by this multilayered scrutiny.”
Many viewers questioned if other stars not featured in the docuseries, like troubled ex-child star Amanda Bynes, 38, were victims of abuse during their time at the network.
Several ex-Nickelodeon stars, including Keenan Thompson, 46, and Victoria Justice, 31, spoke out about the revelations and said they didn’t have the same experiences as Drake and other stars did.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.