During November 2022, an individual anonymously shared their experience on Reddit’s “Off My Chest” forum.
They disclosed a six-year relationship and an eight-month engagement with their fiancé, known as Ryan.
While predominantly responsible for wedding planning, Ryan occasionally contributed suggestions.
Approximately one month earlier, in October, Ryan surprised the poster with an unconventional request: to avoid wearing a white dress for their wedding.
Initially perplexed, the poster attributed Ryan’s suggestion to his artistic inclinations, assuming it related to aesthetic considerations.
Despite brushing off the issue initially, the poster felt “disgusted” by Ryan’s stance after the ensuing argument, prompting serious contemplation about their future together.
However, despite Ryan’s mixed reaction, the poster remained resolute in their desire to wear white, conveying this to him. While Ryan displayed annoyance initially, he ultimately relented and dropped the matter.
What Transpired Following the Woman’s Purchase of a White Wedding Dress?
Two weeks prior to their wedding, the woman made the decision to buy her wedding dress, sparking a heated debate with her fiancé. He expressed irritation and demanded to see the dress, but she firmly refused, wanting to preserve the surprise for their special day.
Pressing further, he questioned the dress’s color, and upon learning it was white, his reaction was explosive. The insistence on a white dress puzzled her, given its traditional association with brides. Baffled by his preference for red, she delved deeper, only for Ryan to reveal a shocking belief: brides should only wear white if they were “pure.”
Adding context, their relationship began when the woman was 21 and her fiancé was 20. He was a virgin when they met, while she had a previous partner. Despite initial insecurities, they seemed to overcome them—until this moment.
In a desperate bid to sway her, Ryan sought support from his mother, but she sided with the woman. A tense confrontation ensued in their living room, with Ryan, his mother, and the woman arguing vehemently about the symbolism of her chosen dress.
Even Ryan’s mother noted his loss of virginity, suggesting he wear red as well. Despite tears, Ryan remained steadfast in his belief that her wearing white would deceive their guests, insisting that standards differed for men.
What Was the Woman’s Decision?
The events that followed deeply shook OP’s confidence in her relationship with Ryan. Following the argument, she was “disgusted” by his actions, prompting serious doubts about their future together.
Adding to her confusion was Ryan’s fixation on her past, particularly her loss of virginity at 18, long before they met, despite not being particularly religious. This revelation weighed heavily on her, leading her to openly express her frustrations and seek understanding from others.
In a subsequent update on the “Dating Advice” forum dated November 24, 2022, OP found herself in a new situation. Having ended her engagement in her late 20s, she faced her first date in six years.
Her first date, set at a waterfront seafood restaurant in North Carolina in November, left her uncertain about appropriate attire. Commenters reportedly suggested she wear red.
After reading this account, do you agree with OP’s decision to end her engagement, or would you have chosen differently? Click here to explore another story about a man who insisted on his fiancée’s hymen being checked by his father in front of their family to ensure her purity.
